If I have an event I try to organize, at least 1/2 the people opt out immediately and the others play the 'we'll see' game until the 11th hour. The damn phone never seems to ring unless someone needs something. Nobody checks in on me just to see how I'm doing. but do I really get any of it back? I'm starting to think the answer is overwhelmingly no. I try to be the kind of friend I want to have. I'm involved and reliable and sensitive to them. After they move away, I check in to see how it's all going.
This usually ends with them saying, 'thank you - you're a really good friend!' People do the therapist thing with me and I keep their secrets and try hard to give good advice. If a friend is going through hard times, I call them up or take them on a walk and encourage them to talk their insecurities out. They thank me later for helping break the ice with their target. I find a reason to cut my night short and bail so they can get it on. I put the guy/girl at ease and then my friend swoops in and I get the awkward pleasure of having to be present for the flirting, which can be excruciating. If a friend is looking to get laid and needs a wingman, I'm down to help. I'm starting to think I'm stuck in a cycle where I'm always there for people who are rarely there for me.
